(My boyfriend has glandular fever. We’re discussing what this means.)

Boyfriend: “And it’s transmitted by saliva, so kissing you is probably a bad idea.”

Me: “Isn’t it also contagious months after the symptoms go away?”

Boyfriend: “Screw it. You’re getting glandular fever.”

(My mom, dad, older sister, and I are sitting around chatting after having family dinner. I’m telling them about my week at school and use the word ‘mirth’.)

Mom: “What’s mirth?”

Sister: “Isn’t that what the wise men brought Jesus? You know, with gold and frankincense?”

(My dad and I stare at each other for a few moments then burst out laughing.)

(My 9-year-old son earlier in the evening ripped a book out of his 9 year old cousin’s hand, getting himself in trouble. We are on the way home.)

Son: “Mom, I think I will ground myself for being mean today.”

Me: “Okay, for how long?”

Son: “Until tomorrow evening.”

(He has been very serious up to this point, and when we get home, he proceeds to write a note and tapes it to his door.)

Note: “Do not bother me, only when its important. I’m not kidding! P.S. knock on the door if important.”

(After seeing this, I chuckle and go in his room to give him a good night kiss.)

Son: “Mom, you didn’t knock!”

(The family is having lunch together, discussing politics. After a bit of conversation, I realize that our four-year old is bored. I decide to engage her in the conversation.)

Me: “Honey, do you know the name of the president?”

Daughter: *happy to know the answer* “OBAMA!”

(My sister-in-law turns to her.)

Sister-in-law: “But, do you know his first name?”

Daughter: *thinks for a moment* “O?”

This story is part of our Presidents Day 2024 roundup!

Read the next Presidents Day 2024 roundup story!

Read the Presidents Day 2024 roundup!

(My mom asks me to wipe down the table.)

Mom: “Now, remember to use a clean, dry towel.”

Me: “Really? Because I was planning to use a wet, dirty one, just to see if the opposite would happen. The more I use it, the dryer and cleaner it gets.”

Mom: “…Shut up.”