Best If You Button Your Lip

I went to Germany for work-related purposes and ended up falling in love with and marrying a girl who had a very charming eight-year-old daughter.

My birthday came along, and my wife bought me a Playstation 2. In this boxed set, it included a karaoke game and a pair of microphones. Upon my unwrapping of the gift, the little girl’s face lit up and she begged me to let her play with it. As it turned out, singing, dancing, and talent shows were her ultimate passion.

That child loved that karaoke game — to the point where I ironically ended up just putting the console in her room and even more ironically would have to ask her from time to time if I could play my game! Otherwise, you would constantly hear her (along with her cousin) singing her heart out all throughout the day. I bought her a few more karaoke-related games, and it made her all the happier.

One day, I was babysitting her and her cousin. They set up a little “talent show” in our living room and asked me to watch their performance. I gladly obliged.

With bright glowing smiles — and neither one of them understanding a single word of English — they started the song and began passionately performing The Pussycat Dolls’ “Buttons”. If you are not familiar with that song, Google the lyrics.

And then, picture two eight-year-old girls singing that in front of a grown man while he turns four shades of red and begs them to switch the track to something else. What made it even funnier was how mortified they looked when I ended up interrupting the performance, and when they asked, “Do we sound that bad?”