Best Bar-Man

(I have just arrived at my boyfriend’s workplace to pick him up so we can go out for the night. He is in a bad mood, as his boss (and best friend) has been acting strange all week. His boss has also been dating his sister for two years.)

Me: “Hey baby, ready to go?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah just let me tell [boss].”

Boss: “What? No, I need you to stay until close tonight!”

Boyfriend: “What?! No, I’m only meant to be on until 9! Close is hours away!”

Boss: “Tough, I need you to stay.”

Me: “What the hell!? We have plans; we’re going out for drinks now.”

Boss: “He can have a drink here with me after we close.”

Boyfriend: “H***, no. You’re being a jerk. Why do you need me to stay? Why not [co-
worker]?”

Boss: “I need you.”

Boyfriend: “Why!?”

Boss: “I. Need. You.”

Boyfriend: “Tell me why, now, or I will quit, I swear!”

Boss: “Fine! Because I want to get you on your own so I can you if you’ll give me permission to ask your sister to marry me, and I want you to be my best man!”

(My boyfriend is in stunned silence.)

Me: “I’ll see you at home honey.”

(My boyfriend later did do best man at the wedding, telling the story of how he was such a great barman that his boss proposed to his sister just so he wouldn’t quit!)