Being Apart From You Is Murder

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years, and rarely go anywhere apart. Recently, I had to go away on a business trip for a week, and I joke to my husband that the people at the places we normally go to together will think he’s murdered me if they see him by himself. He jokes that I’m his impulse control so who knows what trouble he’ll get into.

The trip goes fine, with my husband telling me the first words out of most people’s mouths when they see him solo throughout the week are indeed “Where’s your wife?” When I get home, however, he confesses that less than an hour after dropping me off at the airport, he dropped a glass trying to toss it behind his back and catch it, something I have warned him away from doing previously, which shattered and cut a long line through his foot. It wound up bleeding profusely while he tried to clean up. He’s actually taken pictures of the aftermath, with the kitchen covered in blood and bloody footprints and broken glass. So, not only did he immediately hurt himself doing something silly as he jokingly predicted, he wound up making the place look like an actual murder scene in the progress. Why is it only our stupid predictions that come true?