Being An A** Will Get You Kicked In Yours

(My girlfriend has just gotten a job working phones in a customer service role. One day, my brother has to call this company for help and he tends to be an a** to representatives no matter what. I overhear this after the problem is fixed.)

Brother: “Well, thank you, [Girlfriend], for being such a stupid b**** and being no f****** help! I had to do it all myself. Don’t talk to me like that; I’m a paying customer! There’s nothing you can do to me. In fact, I welcome it! Do anything you want to me over the phone!” *starts laughing*

Me: *receiving a text from my girlfriend* “Hey, [Brother]… [Girlfriend] is asking if telling me to kick your a** through text counts as ‘over the phone.'”

Brother: “Oh… um… yeah… I guess… But why would she ask…” *stares at me with a blank look* “…I have a lot of apologizing to do, don’t I?”

Me: “At this point, I think it’s more groveling than apologizing.”