Behold The Field In Which I Grow My F***s. Lay Thine Eyes Upon It And Thou Shalt See That It Is Barren, Part 5

Bad Behavior, Editors' Choice, Fast Food, Jerk, Karma/Comeuppance, Last Day, Managers With A Spine, USA | Right | July 9, 2025

It’s my last day at this fast-food joint after two years of minimum wage and maximum patience. Luckily for me today, HE walks in, our personal legend of entitlement, the ultimate a**hole customer.

He’s made a scene at least twice a week for the last year, complaining about napkin thickness, how “sloppy” the lettuce looks, and will even change his order if we get his ready too fast, as we’ve denied him the chance to complain about “having to wait”.

Today, he strides up with that same cocky energy.

Customer: “Figures. Took me almost a whole minute to get served. What’s next, you gonna mess up my order again?”

Me: *Cheerfully.* “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “You can get it right for once. And maybe move faster while you’re at it, this isn’t rocket science.”

Normally, I’d smile, nod, apologize.

But today?

I ring him up, pass the order to the kitchen, and fold my arms on the counter.

Me: *Pleasantly.* “You know, I used to think you were just having bad days. Then I realized, you’ve got one long personality problem, and we’re all just living in it.”

Customer: “Excuse me?! That’s no way to talk to a paying customer!”

Me: “No, but it is a great way to end a two-year hostage situation. Last day today!”

Customer: “And you think that gives you the right to say what you want?”

Me: “You diddly-darn bet it does, Steve!”

Using his name shocks him for a moment.

Me: “You’re just like our broken ice cream machine, Steve. Loud, useless, and no one wants to deal with you. I’ve never met a more miserable man in my entire life, and when I’m old and telling my grandkids about my life and all the wonderful things I’ve done, I will be sure to warn them of Steve, the miserable old man who hated his life so much he had to spread that hate to the minimum wage staff who made him a burger every day.”

Customer: “You… You’re not allowed to—”

Me: “—Here’s your burger, Steve. This is a minimum-wage place full of kids about to go off to college. Any day could be someone’s last day, where they get to say whatever they want. Remember that. Have a day!”

The customer managed to compose himself enough to ask for the manager.

Manager: “I’ll deal with him tomorrow, sir.”

Customer: “But he won’t be here tomorrow!”

Manager: *Knowing look.* “Exactly.”

The customer swore at all of us and stormed out. My manager ignored what I had said, which I admit, felt pretty d*** amazing!