Befriending Mr. Crankypants

(I’m not new to the bank, but I am new to this location. An older customer walks in.)

Me: “What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Withdraw $1000.” *stares at me expectantly*

Me: “Sure thing. Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No, I will not show you my ID. What do you think about that?”

Me: “What is your name, sir?”

Customer: *throws his hands up* “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Who are they hiring these days?!”

Me: “I just need your name—“

Customer: “YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO I AM!”

Coworker #1: *to me, quietly* “Don’t mind him; he’s cranky. I’ll get it.” *louder* “Good morning, [Customer]!”

Customer: “Ah, good, [Coworker #1]. Someone who KNOWS WHO I AM.” *glares at me all through his transaction*

Coworker #2: *watches him walk out the door* “Don’t let this rattle you, [My Name]. He’s like that to everyone. He only likes [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #3].”

Coworker #3: “Yeah, and I wish he didn’t!! He loves to give everyone crap; don’t be afraid to throw it back at him.”

(A few months pass by. The customer comes in several times, always giving me a wide berth. One day, [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #3] are out, and it’s just me and [Coworker #2]. The customer walks in, stops, and glares at me.)

Customer: “Oh. It’s you.”

Me: “Yep, it’s me!”

Customer: “Where are [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #3]?”

Me: “They will be back tomorrow!”

Customer: “I have a question about my account, but I don’t want you to help me. What are you going to do about that?”

Me: *with a completely straight face* “I guess you’ll have to come back tomorrow when someone you like is here. It’s just me today.”

(The customer and I stare at each other. Suddenly, he chuckles.)

Customer: “Well played, young lady. I think I’d like to have you wait on me today.”

(He would only let me wait on him after that. He refused to go to anyone else.)