Beer-have Or Beer-gone!

I’m a night auditor at a hotel. I can’t sell beer/wine to guests at the desk after midnight. I’ve started locking the cooler in our market at midnight. In the middle of the night, I watch the guests yank on the door a few times and then come to the desk to whine:

Guest: “The beer fridge won’t open!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I cannot sell beer and wine at the front desk after 12 AM.”

Guest: “Well… what if you unlock it and just like, go to the bathroom for a few minutes?”

Me: “That’s against the law, and that cooler is inventoried every morning.”

Guest: “This is bull-s***!”

Me: “Maybe so, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Have a good evening!”

Guest: “You know, if your mother had died today, you would want to drink.”

Me: “That’s neither here nor there, and I don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me. Would you like to continue to your room, or do I need to call the police and have you removed from the building?”

I always love the blank, shocked stare people give you once you throw out that sentence.

Too many guests think we hotel people can just be run over. The customer might always be right, but the night auditor decides who is still a customer.