Beep Your Language

| Friendly | September 30, 2016

(My home phone number is rather close to the number of a nearby chain department store, so I often get calls for the store. My outgoing message states, “You have reached [phone number]. Please leave a message after the beep.” One day, I come home to the following on my answering machine:)

Caller: *pressing numbers on their phone as if navigating through the voicemail system* “F***! Why isn’t it transferring me?” *pressing more numbers, judging by the beeps I hear four or five of them*

(Another person in the background: Press Zero. It’ll get you the operator.)

Caller: *more beeps* “F****! F****! F****! I hate these voicemail systems! Pick up, you b****es!” *more beeps* “Motherf****s!” *hangs up*

(Dude, I sympathize with you, but there was nothing on my outgoing message that suggested an existence of a voicemail system with options. You should have left a message after the beep.)

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