Bed Wetter

(I return to my dorm room mid-morning to find my roommate and her boyfriend there. He looks exhausted.)

Roommate: “Oh, hey, [My Name], is it okay if [Boyfriend] sleeps in your bed? The sprinklers malfunctioned in his room and woke him up, and his bed is all wet.”

Me: “Erm – can’t he sleep in YOUR bed?”

Roommate: “I just washed all the blankets and he’s kinda wet still, see?”

Me: “No. Just… no. Sorry, [Boyfriend].”

(I had been planning to go to the library, but instead I crawled on to my bed to work to make sure she didn’t stick him in it as soon as I left!)