Because Real Men Don’t Need (Or Follow) Instructions

(This all began over the phone with a male customer who hadn’t received an instruction manual with their game.)

Me: “Okay, so you didn’t receive a manual correct?”

Male Customer: “Yes, that’s correct. Can I bring it in and exchange it for another that has a manual?”

Me: “Of course, just bring in both the game and the receipt.”

Male Customer: “Okay, great. I should be there in about half an hour.”

Me: “Sounds good.”

(Half an hour later…)

Male Customer: “Hey, I called about returning my game without the manual.”

Me: “Oh yeah, sure. I’ve got the game ready for you and everything. So all I need is the receipt…”

(A look of horror crosses the customer’s face, which is quickly replaced with a look of feigned puzzlement.)

Male Customer: “… receipt?”

Me: “Yes, receipt.”

Male Customer: “You didn’t tell me to bring a receipt. Can we do it without it?”

Me: “Er… no. I very specifically told you to bring one so we could do the transaction. Also, I need to know the games from our store.”

Male Customer: “No, you didn’t! Look, I just drove across town to get here to get this stupid manual from you guys because you didn’t give it to me!”

Me: “That was a factory defect, sir, we don’t package the games, we just sell them. Also, there’s nothing I can do without a receipt.”

Male Customer: “Well, can’t you just open that one–” *points to the new game I’ve pulled out for him* “–and give me the manual from there?”

Me: “No, that would leave us with another game with no manual, only it wouldn’t be in our system. We can’t do the transaction and we also need to know that it’s from our store first.”

Male Customer: “Look dude, just give it to me, your boss doesn’t have to know!”

(I glance to my side where my manager is standing with a badge that says “Manager”. He sighs and quite calmly says… )

Manager: “Sir, please go home, be a man and learn the game without reading the manual first. Thank you. Goodbye.”