Because People Who Don’t Want Kids Make Great Parents

, , , | Related | May 10, 2021

My new husband and I have just bought a house. It’s fairly small as we don’t plan on having children or any more pets than our two cats. We’ve invited my mother over to look at the house and to help with interior design ideas. My mother is very traditional and doesn’t approve of our decision to not have kids, despite the fact that neither of us likes kids.

Me: “All right, there’s the tour of the house! What do you think? Any great ideas on how to decorate the place?”

Mom: “Where’s the nursery?”

Me: “What nursery? What are you talking about?”

Mom: “You have to have a nursery. Where is it going to be?”

Me: “Why would we need a nursery?”

Mom: “For the kids, of course.”

Me: “Mom, what kids?”

Mom: “Your kids!”

Husband: “We don’t have any kids.”

Me: “And we don’t plan on having any, either, as I’ve told you many times.”

Mom: “Someday you’re going to change your mind, and you need to consider that when you’re choosing a house. You should get a house with a nursery.”

Me: “It’s a little too late for that. We already bought this house.”

Mom: “You bought a house without a nursery? Where will your kids sleep?”

Me: “Mom, for the last time, no kids. You know that both [Husband] and I don’t like kids. I’m surprised you’d even trust me around kids considering how I acted around my siblings when they were small.”

Mom: “You were fine; you got along great. I can’t believe you bought a house without a nursery without talking to me first.”

Me: “Mom, since when do I have to talk to you about buying a house? I’m an adult and I get to choose what house I buy, and I also get to choose if I have kids or not.”

Mom: “I know technically it’s your choice but you really should be having kids.”

Me: “Mom, I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you keep talking about kids. We’re not having any. End of story.”

Mom: “You can’t ask me to leave!”

Me: “Yes, I can. This is my house.”

Mom: “No, it’s not; you haven’t bought it yet.”

Me: “I told you, Mom, I bought it already. I have every right to ask you to leave.”

Mom: “Fine, I’ll leave. Since you obviously don’t want to make the right choices in life, I’ll leave you here to ruin your life.”

A few months later, I was diagnosed with a condition that prevents me from having children. My mom began to sob loudly in front of our whole extended family when I told her the “bad news,” and while she has stopped bugging me about having kids since then, she will occasionally send me links to adoption and surrogate programs. Meanwhile, my husband and I are living our best kid-free life.

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