Because Not Jogging Equals Mass Shootings

(I’m in PE with a substitute teacher. He’s told us all to sit on the floor near him, and he starts talking loudly and angrily. It is the week of the shooting in Parkland, Florida.)

Teacher: “What I’ve seen here is ridiculous. You are all seriously out of shape. It’s not your fault, but this school is the worst school I’ve ever been to, and I’ve been to a lot. You’re out of breath after jogging for just a few minutes?! I’m going to see what I can do to become your permanent teacher, since your current one might have a job somewhere else. This is awful. It’s because of classes like this that people get the idea to shoot up a school. You get the students that no one likes, no one will talk to… PE teaches collaboration, teamwork, and it gets everyone involved. Exercise is necessary for the brain to work. I bet if they looked at that school shooter’s life, they’d see he rarely exercised. Did you see that picture of him? He looks like a kid who’d shoot up a school. People avoided him and ignored him, and look what happened. People who don’t exercise are the ones who go and shoot up schools. I have to say, this class has disappointed me. You deserve better.”

(To make matters worse, that was the first I’d heard about the shooting. For the rest of class, he acted like nothing had happened, so I decided to let it go. But sure enough, the next time he subbed for our class, he went on a similar rant. The whole thing scared me to death, since I’m not able to exercise much due to several medical conditions. Plus, the way he told it made no logical sense and only served to scare the crap out of us. I don’t know what he hoped to achieve with that rant.)