Beautifully Ugly

(My boyfriend and I have been discussing getting pets, as we’re both huge animal lovers, him especially. But he has… interesting criteria for his pets.)

Boyfriend: “I’m gonna walk in and be like ‘Give me the ugliest cat you have!’”

(I start cracking up laughing.)

Boyfriend: “I mean it! Like… like this cat!”

(He pulls up a picture of a particularly derpy looking, flat-faced cat on his phone.)

Boyfriend: “This cat looks like he’s been hit in the f****** face with a shovel and it’s awesome! Or… oh, my God, this one!”

(He finds a kitten for sale – its face looks too small for its head and its eyes are going in two different directions.)

Boyfriend: “I will gladly pay DOUBLE what they’re asking for this cat! If someone else has already picked it I will f****** fight them for it! This cat is a f****** abomination and I want it!”

(I’m going to have to explain to the cattery that he really is going to love and cherish whatever cat he does get – he’ll just occasionally refer to it as ‘an ugly f***.’)