Beating That Excuse To Death

During a chat after work, in the staff room, we suddenly remember an event from a few years ago.

Manager: “If people don’t show up for work, it’s one thing. When such a person comes in again, we’ll talk about it. But lying to get a day off — that’s different. That will get you fired. Or at least, it will stop us from scheduling you.”

Me: “Like the one guy who claimed he had to go to a funeral?”

Manager: “Oh, yes, that one. He told us he had to attend the funeral of his girlfriend’s grandfather… at Second Pentecost Day.”

The Monday after Pentecost is also a holiday in the Netherlands.

Me: “’He even called me that morning, asking if I could cover for him. I was like, ‘Oh, condolences,’ and he answered, ‘Oh, yeah, I’ve known the man for only two weeks.’ I couldn’t cover because I was already working that day, but I was a bit surprised that he had a new girlfriend. And about the date of the funeral.”

Manager: “Yep. We didn’t trust it, so we asked him to send in a copy of the invitation. I looked at it and then I thought, ‘Oh, yes, it’s not that strange that they bury the man on a holiday. I mean, I would do it as soon as possible, since he’s been dead at home for all these months.’ He had photoshopped the date of the funeral but forgot to change the date of death!”

So, that had been the end of that guy’s career with us. However, the manager didn’t even tell the best part of the story. A year later, another coworker pulled exactly the same stunt. Guess what? He was fired, too!