Beaches Make Boys Cry

(I have a part-time job where I teach English to overseas children through an online company. It’s only three or four hours in the morning, due to time differences, but it pays double the minimum wage! It may be a virtual classroom, but these kids take the cake. Case #1: One of my regular students is learning about weekend activities.)

Me: “[Student #1], where do you want to go on Saturday?”

Student #1: “I want to go to the b****!”

Me: “Almost. Say, ‘beach’.”

Student #1: “B****!”

(Case #2: I have been given a rambunctious five-year-old.)

Me: “Okay, what letter is this? Is it A or B?”

([Student #2] says something in their native language, grabs their iPad, and shoves it under the couch so I am looking up at the underside.)

Me: “So, you don’t like the alphabet, then?”

(Case #3: I am doing a free talk lesson, basically practicing conversational speaking, listening, and responding.)

Me: “So, [Student #3], how was school today?”

Student #3: “It was okay.”

Me: “What happened at school today?”

Student #3: “I am happy!”

Me: “Why are you happy?”

Student #3: “Because boy is sad!”

Me: “A boy is sad?”

Student #3: “Yes! I am girl and I am happy! Boy is sad. He is my classmate, and he is sad!”

Me: “Why is the boy sad?”

Student #3: “I hate boys!”

(I’m only one month in and every day is an adventure. Five more months to go.)