Be Prepared For Explosive Flavor

(I’m eating in the mall food court when I see an angry man approach a security guard. It looks serious, so I try to listen to their conversation. I only hear a few fragments.)

Angry Guy: “Security alert… suspicious item… chemical spill… at other places, the security staff works in conjunction with the local police, bomb squad, and hazmat team! [Nearby military base] is pretty high on al-Qaeda’s list of targets. I don’t feel safe at all!”

(The angry guy stomps off. I’m a little worried at this point, so I walk up to the security guard.)

Me: “What’s going on?”

Security Guard: “Nothing. Somebody left an open can of Coke in the middle of the floor.”