Be A Big Boy And Drive Yourself

I’m getting ready for a company event when [Coworker] calls. 

Coworker: “I need you to come and pick me up.”

He lives about twenty minutes in the opposite direction of the event and has his own vehicle. I know he’s been trying to get people to give him a ride so he won’t have to drive and he’ll be free to drink as much as he wants.

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “Carpooling is good for the environment.”

Me: “Okay, then you come and get me.”

Coworker: “No! Come on, [My Name]. Just help me.”

Me: “Are you going to pay me for the gas for the extra forty minutes per trip?”

Coworker: “F*** no!”

Me: “There’s your answer, then.”

I hung up. [Coworker] arrived an hour late, blaming everyone who refused to pick him up.