Bartenders Tend To Know These Things. Usually.

I’m at my office Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant. We’re a small real estate office, so about a dozen people.

I order a Glenlivet (scotch whiskey) on the rocks. The waitress brings the drinks (minus one — I’ll get to that). I take a sip of mine, and I know this is dead wrong.

Me: “Young lady, this isn’t Glenlivet. It’s Johnny Walker Red.”

Waitress: “Oh, we don’t have Glenlivet, so the bartender gave you that.”

Me: “Let me tell you something: don’t ever try to fool a scotch drinker. Please pass that along to the bartender.”

(I end up with Dewar’s.)

Then, the waitress talks to my colleague about her drink.

Waitress: “The bartender wants to know what’s in an Amaretto Sour.”

We all chime in together:

Us: “It’s a Whiskey Sour with Amaretto instead of whiskey!”

The bartender got no tip.