Banking On You Being A Bank

We are selling our home due to moving to another state. I have bought and sold several homes in the past and I think I can do it again. I advertise on several home selling sites and I get some of the weirdest responses. 

One man contacts me saying he is interested in the home. He comes to see with his family, and  they tell me they want to buy it. I tell him that’s great and to get his bank or finance company to contact me and we will work it out. 

Prospective Buyer: “Oh, umm, well, I can’t get a loan. My credit is pretty bad.”

Me: “Then how do you expect to buy this house? Cash?”

Prospective Buyer: “I thought maybe I could work out a monthly payment plan with you.”

Me: “I only do the one-payment plan — the whole amount.”

He gets mad at me at this point.

Me: “Sir, I am not a bank nor do I wish to be. Goodbye.”

I get several calls and messages about people wanting to rent from me. I made the ad clear that I was selling the home, not renting, but the one that takes the cake is the following message:

Prospective Buyer: “I saw your ad selling your home. Can I please move in with my children? We are about to be homeless and desperately need a place to stay.”

Me: “I am selling the home, not renting. We are living here and are getting ready to move to another state. I have no desire to be a landlord.”

Prospective Buyer: “Please! I need a place to live for my children! We will be homeless. Have a heart! Aren’t you a Christian?! Please let us rent your home. I will pay!”

Me: “Then my children and I will be homeless. I need the money from the sale of this home as down payment for our new home. And yes, I am a Christian, and charity begins at home.”

I blocked him at that point.

I got more requests to rent instead of buy. I made it abundantly clear that I was selling, NOT renting. I was so annoyed that I just hired a real estate agent and let her deal with it. She told me it was normal to get people like that all that time calling wanting to rent. She dealt with over a dozen people who wanted to rent the home, not buy it. I never understood it since it was clearly for sale and not in an area with a lot of rental property.