Banking On Pettiness That Can Last Centuries

I moved from Pennsylvania to Michigan a few years ago and only go home once a year or so. A few years back, I transferred the vast majority of my bank account to Michigan, but they were giving me a hard time about closing the account, and so I withdrew all funds except for $1.31.

I haven’t touched the account since that time, so two years later, I get a notice for inactivity stating that I will be charged five dollars if my account remains inactive for two years. I spoke with three different people on the phone, but they would not let me close out the account without incurring a fee, and since I’m never moving back to that town, I refuse to pay them or add any money to the account.

So, I have to interact with the account once every two years or else pay you five dollars? Fine.

When I was there in person last month, I withdrew one penny from the account, so now it’s good for another two years. The attendant definitely gave me a weird look, but at this rate, my account will remain open for the next 260 years!