Banana Drama, Part 11
When I was seven, we had a teacher who was… special. She had many quirks and was a bit sensitive about not being right. One day she decided to teach about animals and their alimentary preferences.
Teacher: “So, the lion eats…?”
Us: “Meat!”
Teacher: “That’s right… and Elephants…?”
Us: “Plants.”
Teacher: “Right again! And chimpanzees…?”
Cue twenty-ish kids who had no idea how to answer:
Teacher: “That’s easy, they eat bananas.”
That felt like a personal attack. I was seven, but I’ve always had a great memory and was such a fan of NatGeo. So, I said loudly:
Me: “[Teacher], they eat meat, fruit, and ants.”
She looked at me with a deathly glare.
Teacher: “No! That’s wrong! Everyone knows chimps eat bananas!”
Me: “No, they use sticks that they suck on. By inserting them in anthills, the ants get stuck, and they can eat them.”
What followed was a tirade of reprimands by her that I can’t recall exactly because it was thirty years ago. I only know that I felt bad, went home, and complained to my parents.
Later, I found out (as my parents told me years after) that they went to school the next day to meet with the principal and teacher, and in that meeting, she was trying to frame me as disruptive. She felt so superior until my father said:
Father: “You are a grown woman who screams at kids and gets animal knowledge out of a [popular kids’ magazine]. You’re objectively dumber than a seven-year-old.”
Related:
Banana Drama, Part 10
Banana Drama, Part 9
Banana Drama, Part 8
Banana Drama, Part 7
Banana Drama, Part 6
