Banana-Drama, Part 2

(I work in a sandwich shop. Due to a recent string of customers ordering sandwiches “with everything” and complaining when a topping they didn’t want is on the sandwich, or telling us which optional toppings they want by ordering them WITHOUT certain optional toppings and then again complaining when it’s not made “right”, we’ve started to require every customer to be very specific with what they want to order on each sandwich. Our most popular sandwich is a Philadelphia cheesesteak, listed on the menu as having steak, cheese, and then listing six optional toppings.)

Customer: “I want a Philly cheese steak.”

Me: “Okay, and what would you like to add to that? It only comes with meat and cheese; the other listed toppings are optional.”

Customer: “No banana peppers.”

Me: “Those actually don’t come on it; they’re just an optional topping. All I need to know is what you DO want.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. No banana peppers.”

Me: “Again, those are optional; I just want to know what you want to ADD. The Philly only comes with meat and cheese by default.”

Customer: “So none of that other stuff is on it?”

Me: “No, but we can add it if you ask for it.”

Customer: “Okay. I don’t want any banana peppers on it.”

Me: “They don’t come on it. What would you like to ADD?”

Customer: “No banana—”

Me: “Sir, the sandwich does not come with banana peppers already on it, so I can’t take them off. I only need to know what you want me to ADD TO the sandwich, not what you DON’T want on it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, I gotcha. So you only need to know what I want on there other than the meat and cheese.”

Me: “Yes!” *thinking he finally understands*

Customer: “Well, no banana peppers…”

Me: *screams internally*