Ballooning Out Of Control

| Greenwich, CT, USA | Right | December 15, 2014

(I am doing some community service the other day, handing out balloons at an adopt-a-dog fair. I have been working for a few hours when a family of three approaches.)

Me: “Hello, would you like a balloon?”

Woman: *snatches her baby away* “How dare you offer a balloon to a child? Do you realize how dangerous those are? Are you trying to kill my baby? Call your manager right this instant!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t actually work here. I’m doing community service.”

Woman: *huffs* “Don’t lie to me, missy! Do you think I’m stupid? You’re just lying to get out of trouble! Now, call your manager. Now!”

Me: *starting to get really fed up* “I don’t work here! I’m just here to I hand out balloons, and clearly you don’t want one, so I would suggest moving on to some of our other attractions.”

Woman: “Why, of all the disrespectful—”

(She has started to get pretty loud, so one of the managers running the fair wanders over to see what’s going on.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Woman: “Finally! This young lady tried to give my child a balloon! Those can strangle kids! I demand to have her fired immediately!”

Manager: *bewildered* “Sorry, what?”

Woman: “She tried to murder my child! I can press charges!”

Manager: “Right… Well, why don’t you go off and do that now…”

(The woman’s storms off, taking her child with her. Her husband, who has been silent throughout the entire conversation, stays behind.)

Husband: “Well, I don’t know about her, but I’d like a balloon…”

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