Baffled By Buffoonery

I’m getting tired of salesmen at my door trying to sell me yet another energy plan. I have put a sticker by my door saying, “To whoever rings this doorbell: if you are here to spread your faith, sell anything, or give advice about energy suppliers, we will charge you twenty-five euros per conversation to listen to your story. You are required to pay this sum in advance. By pressing this doorbell, you agree with the aforementioned terms.”

It’s sarcasm, of course, but most people get the message. Some keep on trying, though.

I’m on my computer in the room next to my front door. I see a salesman waving frantically at me through the window. I point toward the sign by my door, but he keeps waving. Frustrated, I go to open the door.

Me: “I know you are here to sell but I’m not buying. Didn’t you see the sign?”

Salesman: “No, I didn’t see any sign from way over there!”

He points two feet to the side, where he was standing as he was waving.

Salesman: “Besides, I didn’t actually ring the doorbell, so…”

He seems all proud of himself for discovering that loophole — how could he have known that without reading the sign, I wonder — and launches into his sales pitch.

Me: “Let me stop you right there. You are the fifth representative for energy suppliers I’ve had on my doorstep this month alone. I’m not interested.”

Salesman: “But we’re the cheapest!”

Me: “Yeah, so they all say. Now leave.”

The salesman death-glared at me, then sulked away, muttering under his breath.

I get that they have a job to do, but why they choose to be complete buffoons about it still baffles me.