Bad Managers Are Retch-ed

(I work in the fine jewelry department. Our staff is small, so the manager often schedules just one person to open the department. I call one morning, as I am feeling rather ill. My manager answers.)

Me: “Hi, it’s [name]. I know I’m supposed to open the jewelry department, but I don’t feel well.”

Manager: “Well, [coworker] is supposed to come in at 10. You can go when she gets here, I guess.”

Me: “Okay. I can try to make it until then.”

(I arrive feeling even worse, but do my best to get the department open. I’m halfway through counting up the last register when I feel as though I am about to vomit. I make for the bathroom as fast as I can, but I don’t even make it out of the department before retching on the floor. I phone Loss Prevention to tell them what happened. They tell me they are on their way to clean it up and to call my manager and tell her I must go home. I do so.)

Me: “I just vomited. Loss Prevention told me I need to go home.”

Manager: “Are you sure you can’t wait?”

Me: “Not unless you want me puking all over the diamonds.”

Manager: “Well, you can run to the bathroom if you get sick again.”

Me: “No, I can’t.”

Manager: “Well, I don’t have anyone else to open your department. Just clean it up and get the department ready for opening.”

Me: “In the event that no associate is present to open the department, the responsibility falls to the manager.”

Manager: “What?!”

Me: “That’s what our manual says. You need to open this department because I am not allowed to work for the next 12 hours, according to policy.”

Manager: “But—”

Me: “If you’re not going to open this department, that’s all on you. I’m going home before I make another mess.” *hangs up*

(She had me written up for insubordination!)