Bad Debts Get Bad Language

(I am a debt collector, so I have had several interesting phone calls, but this one is a favorite. To speak to someone who isn’t the account holder, we must have verbal authorization from the account holder to speak with them, for obvious security reasons.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name], speaking on a recorded line. Who do I have the pleasure of assisting today?”

Customer: “Well, my name is [First Name], but I’m calling because you called for my dad and I’d like to know why.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Do you have a reference number, or his full name, so I can pull up his file?”

Customer: “No, I want to know why you called my elderly father!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have thousands of customers, so I’m not sure why we called your father. It could possibly be a wrong number.”

Customer: “Well, we got a letter saying he owes [Client]. He has no affiliation with them! We called them, and they said he owes nothing!”

(Once a debt is in my office, this particular client forwards all those calls to our office.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, as I stated previously, it’s possible it’s a wrong number or a fraud. What’s the number we called, so I can find the file?”

Customer: “I’m not giving you anything! You should be ashamed of yourself, calling old people for an imaginary debt!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m here to help; I’m just trying to do my job.”

Customer: “I’m sorry that you have that job. You should try finding a new one, unless you’re just a crooked, evil person who likes harassing old people!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sorry I have this job. I like working here. I’m here to help, but if we’re unable to keep this on a professional level, I am going to have to disconnect the phone call.”

Customer: “Well, before you disconnect, you can go f*** yourself!” *click*

(I immediately brought that call to my supervisor to listen to and get a good laugh out of. To this day I have no idea why she thinks elderly people are incapable of accruing debt, and why they should be exempt from being held responsible for it!)