A Bad Case Of Viral Hypochondria

, , , , , | Related | September 12, 2017

(I tend to be a bit dramatic, to the point of it being a joke, when I am sick. My sister is out of town, and I have been battling an awful cold for nearly a week when this happens.)

Sister: “Hey. I’ll pay you to watch [Son] on Saturday. [Husband] has to work, and I won’t be back until late. I don’t think it’s occurred to him yet that [Son] can’t go to work with him. If you’re interested. If you’re not, it’s okay. We’ll figure something out. Just thought I’d see with you first.”

Me: “I would recommend finding someone else, since I’m currently dying of incurable plague.”

Sister: “Ugh. Can’t you just supervise him from your deathbed?”

Me: “So that he can catch the death-plague? I’m trying to limit exposure to others. I wouldn’t inflict this on someone I don’t like.”

Sister: “That’s true. I don’t want any of us to get your death plague. Also, actual plague is making an actual comeback IN THE UNITED STATES!”

Me: “Actual plague would be an improvement; it’s bacterial, so a few cc’s of penicillin to the rump takes care of that. I’m viral.”

Sister: “Bleh. Also that’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.”

(This was after I sent her a picture of cough medicine, calling it “my sweet nectar of life.”)

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