Bacon Begone

, | Working | February 9, 2015

(I am visiting London at a time when they are having a 99p sale on bacon double cheeseburgers. However, the “bacon” is a limp piece of meat instead of the crispy strip my American tastes prefer; furthermore, the bacon double is prepared with no condiments on it.)

Me: “Can I just get a regular double cheeseburger for 99p? I don’t like the bacon double.”

Cashier: “No, the double cheeseburgers are regular price.”

Me: “But they’re basically the same thing. In fact, the regular double doesn’t have the bacon on it, so its ingredients probably cost less anyway.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, the double cheeseburger is regular price.”

Me: “All right, then, I’ll order a bacon double. But can I get it ‘my way?'”

Cashier: “Sure.”

Me: “I’ll have ketchup on it.”

Cashier: *typing this into the register* “Okay.”

Me: “And mustard, please. And pickles.”

Cashier: *also typing this into the register* “Okay.”

Me: “And just one other change; hold the bacon.”

(The cashier instantly realizes what I’ve done and gives me a dirty look. But I got my 99p regular double cheeseburger!)

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