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CONTENT WARNING: Sexual content.

I’m a customer at a phone shop’s helpdesk. The guy at the desk is helping me troubleshoot my phone, and I see a sign on the wall behind him.

Sign: “We will not troubleshoot phones that have explicit/inappropriate wallpapers.”

Me: “How often does that happen for there to be a sign?”

Employee: *Thousand-yard stare.* “Too many.”

Me: “Ouch.”

Employee: “Last week, I had a couple who handed me an iPad. The wallpaper was the two of them… going at it… from all the angles.”

Me: “Oh my God!”

Employee: “Yeah, I told them to change it, and I pointed to the sign. They told me it doesn’t count as inappropriate as it’s them, not a p*rn star.”

Me: “As if that makes a difference.”

Employee: “Right? But then they told me the reason they were here was that they didn’t know how to change their wallpaper, so I told them they were f***ed… even more so than they were in the wallpaper.”

I laughed and commiserated with him, and was thankful that my wallpaper was a cute picture of my sleeping cat…