Back Seat Father

(My dad and I have a bit of a strained relationship growing up due to him having a quick temper and being extremely critical of everything. Things are much better now, but as a result of his inability to keep calm when teaching I refuse to let him teach me to drive. When I get my license I occasionally pick up my folks from work. On this particular day, I can immediately see him eyeing my driving like a hawk and just looking for something to pick on. We come up to a right turn and I put my right indicator on. Suddenly his eyes bulge with fury.)

Dad: “WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING?!”

Me: *taken aback* “Sorry?”

Dad: “YOU’RE INDICATING LEFT!”

(I and my mum smirk at each and I shake my head and point the right.)

Me: “That’s right, Dad, because this is a right turn.”

(My dad looks annoyed and looks away from me.)

Dad: “It looked like you were doing it wrong.”

(We continue on our way. My dad then looks over at me critically.)

Dad: “You should drive smoother.”

Me: “Sorry, what do you mean?”

Dad: “The car isn’t in a straight enough line.”

Me: “Dad, I am right in the middle of the lane. I’m not even touching the white lines.”

Dad: “Well, you should be smoother.”

Me: “Not everyone drives the same way, Dad.”

(Dad looks angry and glares at me.)

Dad: “I really wish you’d listen to me…”

(From the back seat my mum is starting to laugh. My dad looks irritated that she doesn’t agree.)

Mum: “For goodness sake, he’s not actually done anything wrong. Just leave it!”

Dad: “But his driving…”

Mum: “He’s FINE! Now leave him alone and be quiet.”

(My dad proceeded to fume the rest of the way home. My driving outings with him were thankfully infrequent after that.)