Babysitting On A Knife-Edge

(My sister often wonders how her husband and his sister survived childhood. Time and time again her in-laws prove that they should not be in charge of small children. It’s my niece’s first birthday. We are getting the cake ready.)

Sister: *to me* “They are demanding that I let them take [Niece] home for a few days. I keep saying no, but they are claiming it’s their right as grandparents. I am not comfortable with that.”

(We light the candle and take it to Niece, who is being held by her dad. He helps her blow out the candle.)

Niece’s Grandfather: “She has to cut the cake!” *shoves a carving knife with an eight-inch long sharp blade into niece’s hand*

Niece: “YAYYYYYYY!”

(My niece flings her arm back, brandishing the knife, straight towards her dad’s face. He manages to dodge out of the way. My sister grabs the knife out of the baby’s hand.)

Sister: “Are you a f****** idiot? Why would you give that to [Niece]?”

Grandfather: “She needed to cut the cake.”

Sister: “She’s one year old, you gave her a sharp knife, and she almost killed [Husband] with it.”

(The grandfather, still oblivious to what he did, storms off. Our older sister comes up to us afterwards.)

Older Sister: “What happened? [Grandfather] is complaining about how [Sister] spoke to him.”

(We explain what happened.)

Sister: “Is it any wonder why I refuse to let them take [Niece] home? They do things like this all the time!”