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Babies Cost Money Before They’re Born

| Right | August 1, 2017

(I work at a movie theater. One day, I am working concessions, when a young family approaches me — a father, two young children, and a VERY pregnant mother.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Movie Theater]! What can I get for you today?”

Father: *laughing* “Oh, you’re going to make a healthy profit off us today!”

Mother: “Yeah, sorry. But I’m just starving and having one of my ‘pregnant mommy’ hunger-fits.”

Me: *laughing* “That’s quite all right. What can I get you?”

Father: “I’ll have a large popcorn and soda for me and the kids… And my wife will have—”

Mother: “—can I also get a large popcorn and soda… and one of your single-serving cheese pizzas… and an order of chicken fingers, fries, and jalapeno poppers… and some cheese sticks.”

Me: “Sure. Just so you know that will be about $70, and it’ll take about ten minutes or so to make all the hot foods. That okay?”

Father: “Oh, boy, I wasn’t expecting to spend so much today… Hey, if my wife gives birth while you’re making it, can we get the food for free?”

Me: “Um… sure?”

Father: *turning to his wife* “Okay, you better get to pushing, honey, because I only have about $50 with me!”

(Thanks for the laugh, and congrats on the new baby!)

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