Awkward Pawsitioning

My partner is big and scruffy, and our cat ADORES HIM. The cat adores him so much that any time my partner gets into bed to even have so much as a quick snooze, this cat is ON TOP OF HIM, his paws either tucked under him in a loaf, or stretched straight out, eyes shut, purring like a well-oiled (very comfortable) machine.

One evening, my partner is on his phone in bed. He glances at the cat on top of him, who has one paw hanging straight off my partner’s belly at a very particular angle.

My partner is appalled.

Partner: “Sir! SIR! Are you sieging Heil?! WE DO NOT SIEG HEIL IN THIS HOUSE, SIR! That is illegal, sir! SIR!”

Of course, I have to get in on this, too.

Me: “Sir! You are causing a scene!”

With that outburst, the cat tilts his ears the tiniest bit. He then puts his other paw out to do a relatively good Superman impression. My partner nods and pats him on the head, crisis averted.