Avoiding Spring Bathroom Break

(I work at a bar near the beach. It’s usually a popular spot, especially when Spring Break comes around. A trio of college students comes in ordering the Spring Break special, which is where you get pitchers of beer for $1 each until you take a bathroom break, after which it becomes regular price. Our bathrooms do not have any windows and are guarded by two security guards who stamp every patron who leaves the bathroom so management can keep track of everyone. Two of the college students used the bathroom but the third person continues to keep drinking without using the bathroom. After over 60 minutes of drinking he orders another pitcher.)

Customer: *inebriated* “Yo, bro. Another pitcher, please!”

Me: “Right away, sir. It’s amazing that you keep going like this.”

Customer: “Yes, all this drinking is making me thirsty.”

(The people nearby, including the manager, laugh when he says that. The manager decides to step in.)

Manager: “Sir, if you don’t mind me asking, what is your secret? I mean everyone I’ve seen usually goes to the bathroom after 30 minutes of drinking but you haven’t visited the bathroom once. How do you do it?”

Customer: “All right, I’ll show you.”

(The man proceeded to lower his pants and reveal he was wearing an adult diaper. It was soggy looking and yellow like popcorn butter. The manager was so shocked and disgusted by this he took out his cell phone, took a picture of the guy, then whistled for one of the security guards to have the guy escorted from the bar. He then ordered the other two patrons to pay for the difference since they ‘cheated.’ Scared by the security guards, they paid and left me a nice tip!)