Aussiemum

, , , | Related | November 6, 2017

(My grandma is a very kind and well-meaning lady. That being said, she is 85 and has lived as a middle-class Englishwoman for most of her life, and therefore holds some opinions about race ranging from the laughably ignorant to the downright prejudiced. Here is an instance where she manages an impressive rapidfire in a conversation with me about my sister’s Pakistani boyfriend.)

Me: “I just hope she doesn’t—”

Grandma: *interrupting* “Get married?”

Me: “What? N-no. I don’t mind if they get married.”

Grandma: “Because the thing about black people is—”

Me: “But he’s not black…”

Grandma: “Right, well, you know what I mean. The thing about foreigners is that they can’t always relate to Australian culture.”

Me: “Grandma, you’re not from Australia.”

Grandma: “Oh, yes. You’re right. Then again, no one is technically ‘Aussie.’ Everyone came here from somewhere else.”

Me: “Uh… indigenous Australians?”

Grandma: “Exactly; there were Aborigines, but no Aussies here, originally.”

Me: *face-palm and subject change*

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