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Auntie Is Aiming Low

, , , , | Related | December 27, 2019

(I am the same person who submitted this story. I wake up one day and see that I have a text from my aunt. It is a link to an online sale on bras, and is accompanied by a message:)

Aunt: “I have often wanted to tell you that you needed a better bra but was afraid of embarrassing or offending you.”

Me: “I’m confused right now. How do you know I need a better one? I’ve never complained about it or anything. Where is this coming from?”

Aunt: “Just by looking at you. Boobs should not be down at your waist; they should be above your elbows. And [Grandma] mentions it to me every time she sees you and I am there. I am sorry if I embarrassed you.”

(First, I think to myself, “Wait. Now my grandma thinks I look weird, too?!” Second, I look down at myself. Even with just my loose-fitting pajamas on, I’m pretty sure “the girls” aren’t sitting as low as my waist.)

Me: “I’m pretty sure that’s just the way they are. They’re big, so they hang down. The bras I wear right now actually look pretty similar to the ones in the link, and they are the only ones I’ve found that don’t cut into my shoulders or have my breasts threaten to pop out if I bend too much.”

Aunt: “Okay, I was just trying to be a helpful auntie. I’ll tell [Grandma] that I talked to you the next time she brings it up again.”

(After a bit more back and forth, including me letting her know that this whole conversation had actually made me more self-conscious about my looks, she did give a better apology. I accepted it, and I thought the matter was put to rest. I did end up ordering from the link she sent me because the product was at a very good price. I made sure to wear the new ones whenever I saw her, hoping that would keep the issue from being brought up again. A few months later, she sent me another link. Once again, it was about bras. This time, I just sent her an “unimpressed/side-eye” emoji. She never responded or brought the topic up again. I brought this text conversation up with my mother at one point, which prompted her to share a story. Apparently, during my late teen years, a woman approached her at church and expressed concern over my self-confidence since I “covered up” so much. Note that my typical style, both then and now, is jeans and a slightly baggy T-shirt. Honestly, why is everyone else so much more invested in how I present my chest than I am?)

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