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Attack Of The Muffin Man

, , | Right | April 9, 2021

I’m working on the bar on a fairly busy night, serving a table of regulars.

Regular #1: “[Beers], please, [My Name]!”

Regular #2: “Actually, I’ll have a latte. Have you got any biscuits to go with it?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, we don’t.”

Regular #2: “That’s fine—”

Regular #1: *Butting in* “That’s not good enough. We’ll be expecting a wedge of cake on the side for the inconvenience!”

They all laugh and I know they’re just joking around, but as a special treat, I decide to quickly run into our back storeroom and grab a mini muffin from our breakfast stock. I’m not really supposed to just give them away, but our company has a policy that focuses heavily on going the extra mile to make guests happy, so I figure this counts.

I pop it down beside [Regular #2]’s latte, but before anyone can say anything, [Regular #1] grabs the muffin off his buddy’s plate and gobbles it up in two seconds.

Regular #1: *With a mouth full of crumbs* “Aw, cheers, [My Name], you’re a real star!”

I don’t know how to react while staying professional, so I just kind of walk away to serve other people. While I am taking care of other customers, [Regular #1] keeps coming back up to the bar.

Regular #1: *For the third time* “Hey, [My Name], can we get more muffins?”

Me: “Sorry, buddy, I can’t do it. I wasn’t supposed to even give you that one.”

Regular #1: *Whining* “Oh, come onnn, [My Name], just two more for the other guys!”

I feel bad for [Regular #2] not getting his muffin, but my gut tells me his mate is just going to pull the same stunt and eat anything else I bring out.

Me: “It was supposed to be a one-off treat for [Regular #2]. I was trying to do something nice and you ruined it. That’s your own fault. It’s done. It’s over. You ruined it. You’re not getting any more.”

He huffed off back to his table. Months later, he still occasionally tries to get free muffins out of me, and he even dropped me in trouble with my manager by complaining to them that I “wouldn’t give [him] free stuff anymore.”

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