Attack Of The Contrarian Librarian

(I have recently moved into a new house with four roommates. I get along really well with three of them; the fourth one seems nice but I almost never see her. On my birthday, the first three take me out to the bar. We come home very late, very drunk.)

Me: “Hey, thanks so much. You guys are so awesome! I love you!”

Roommate #1: “Aw, we love you, too!”

Me: “It’s just too bad [Other Roommate] couldn’t come.”

Roommate #2: “Yeah, she’s really busy all the time.”

Roommate #3: “It’s a shame.”

(They go on in this vein for a few more minutes about how it’s too bad they never see [Other Roommate].)

Me: “What is it she does again?”

(There is a deep, massive voice that comes from [Other Roommate’s] bedroom.)

Other Roommate: “SHUT UP AND GO TO BED!”

Roommate #1: “She’s a librarian.”