At Odds With Everyone In The Store

, , , , , | Right | February 25, 2019

(I decide to get lunch at the food court of my local shopping centre, and I wait in front of a shop known across the globe for its submarine sandwiches. It’s also known for having a customer-serving procedure where you start from the right side and move across to the left side, all the while telling the employee what you want in your sandwich until you reach the register on the far left.)

Me: “Hi. Could I get a full-length sandwich?”

Employee #1: “Sure. What type of bread would you like?”

(I choose the bread and meat and I’m taking a step to the left to decide the cheese when a woman steps into my path.)

Me: *bumps into her suddenly* “Oh! I’m sorry, I—“

Customer: “EXCUSE ME, IDIOT!”

Me: “I, uh… Sorry. I didn’t see you.”

Customer: *rolls eyes, turns to face [Employee #2]* “Hi. I’d like a half-length sandwich, please.”

(Because she’s standing on my left, this creates an awkward situation where she and [Employee #2] have to speak diagonally to each other across from me and [Employee #1].)

Employee #2: “Of course, ma’am. If you could come around to this side so that you can choose the bread.” *motions with his hand to stand on my right side*

Customer: “Yes, I want the honey oat bread.”

Employee #2: “I understand, ma’am, but if you could come around to this side so it will be easier to—“

Customer: “Honey. Oat. Bread.”

Employee #2: “Yes, it’s just that you need to stand—“

Customer: “THIS! ONE! HERE!” *reaches across me and taps loudly on glass*

Employee #2: “I… Okay, fine. Honey oat it is.”

(This uncomfortable standoff goes on as all four of us move down to the left until my sandwich reaches the last step.)

Employee #1: “Sauces and seasoning?”

Me: “Honey mustard sauce and no salt or pepper.”

(I end up having to walk around the female customer in order to get to the register to pay.)

Customer: “HEY! DON’T CUT IN LINE!”

Me: “How am I cutting in line?”

Customer: “You intentionally walked around me so now you’re in front.”

Me: “I’ve always been in front of you. This whole time my sandwich has been ahead of yours. Now it’s finished and I need to pay at the register. Has your sandwich been finished?”

Customer: “Ugh! Whatever.” *rolls her eyes again*

(I paid and left. I’ll never figure out what that woman was trying to pull that day.)

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