At Least They Got Out Of Their Shell

(I go to an animal studies university. The teacher is talking to us about a visitor coming in later that week.)

Teacher: “A friend of mine will be coming in on Tuesday to teach us about turtle extraction devices.”

Student: “Um… Um…”

Teacher: “Yes, [Student]?”

Student: “Yeah, so how do turtles die?”

Teacher: “Well, they can suffocate on shrimp fishing nets, or get caught in them.”

Student: “But… but… But what about the shells.”

Teacher: “They can still die.”

Student: *now obviously worked up* “BUT THE SHELLS! THE SHELLS!”

(I kid you not, this kid runs out of the class, screaming.)

Student: “THE SHELLS!”

Class: *blank stares*

Teacher: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” *shakes head slowly*