At Death’s Doorknob

, , , , | Working | July 9, 2019

(I’m in the break room, waiting for a ride home because I’ve caught a nasty bug. I’m trying to stay in good spirits, and my manager is doing what she can to prevent me from touching too much.)

Me: “[Manager], can I clock myself out?”

Manager: “No, I’ll do it.”

Me: “Can I sign my radio in?”

Manager: “Yeah, I can toss the pen.”

Me: “Can I touch the doorknob?”

Manager: “No, I’ll get the door for you.”

Me: “I’m gonna touch the doorknob.”

Manager: “I’m gonna call the CDC.”

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