Assuming Is Never Amusing
(I’m a sophomore in high school. I’m pansexual and gender-neutral, but biologically female, so I usually wear looser, more boyish clothes. My best friend is also a girl and straight, but has really short hair and a boyfriend who lives in another state, so no one believes her when she tells them that. She’s also very eccentric, painfully cheerful, and a theatre kid. One day, we’re walking to chemistry.)
Student: “Hey, are you guys, like, a couple?”
Me: *chuckling* “Nah, she’s straight.”
Student: “So you’re a lesbo?”
Me: “No, I like guys and girls. And anyone inbetween.”
Student: “But… you dress like a guy.”
Me: “My shirt is pink and I’m wearing a fluffy white jacket.”
Student: *turns to my friend* “And… and you have short hair!”
Friend: “So that makes me gay?”
Student: “Well… yeah!”
Friend: “I wear rainbow tutus to school and belt out show tunes in the hallway. Do you really think I’d be in the closet?”
Student: “Well, I mean—”
Friend: “How would you feel if people assumed you were a redneck because you live in Georgia?”
(Suddenly, the student’s eyes go wide and he looks absolutely horrified, apologizing profusely before rushing off.)