Assault And Battery For The Salt And Battery

| Right | October 3, 2016

(I am working the register. The day has been smooth so far, and I’ve even managed to tell a few jokes to liven up a customer’s day. A middle-aged man comes into the store, buying a packet of salt, and some batteries.)

Me: *joking* “I guess I’ll have to charge you for assault and battery, now do I?”

Man: *irate* “YOU F****** D******! I’M SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE JOKE, NOT YOU! I’M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN!” *throws salt at my chest and storms out*

Customer: Holy s***! Did someone put salt in his coffee today?

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