Asphytuxiation

(I am the bad worker here. I was recently hired for a shop that both rents out and sells tuxedos for formal occasions. My boss tells me to measure customers first so as to get a good fit, and she demonstrates how to do it on me. It seems very easy, so when a male customer comes in, I’m pretty confident.)

Customer: “I need a tux for a wedding.”

Me: “You’ve come to the right place! Let’s measure you up to get your size.”

(I do his arms, legs and waist, but when I do his neck, I have a problem. He’s a very tall guy, and I feel awkward asking him to bend down. My boss is busy doing something else, so I throw the tape around his shoulders and catch it around after a few tries.)

Me: *read amount* “11 inches. Okay, let me get one for your consideration…”

(As I leave, I yank sharply on the tape to coil it up, and it gets caught on his neck! In my panic, I pull again, basically strangling him with the tape! He chokes and wobbles, trying to get his balance.)

Me: “Um, sorry about that… So, I’ll get your tux…”

(Luckily the boss came in and assisted him. I slunk away. That was my one and only time working there. I was too embarrassed to go back.)