Ask Again And You’ll Get Slytherin

(This takes place when I am hosting a release party for one of the Harry Potter books. As kids come in, we “sort” them into a Hogwarts house by having them choose a sticker from a sorting hat.)

Me: “Welcome! Would you like to get sorted into a Hogwarts House?”

(The daughter of a customer reaches into the hat and pulls her hand out to reveal a Ravenclaw sticker.)

Customer: “Ravenclaw?! Hey, buddy, she really wanted Gryffindor. Let her pick again.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. All the Sorting Hat’s decisions are final.”

Customer: “Just give her a Gryffindor sticker!”

Me: “I don’t think that would be fair. All the other kids picked and stuck with their choice. And we’re actually getting ready to start an activity for the Ravenclaw kids, so–”

Customer: “No daughter of mine is getting stuck with those weird Ravenclaw kids! She’s clearly a Gryffindor!”

Daughter: “Actually, Daddy, I like Ravenclaw. That’s where all the smart kids go!”

Customer: “Screw that! Who wants to hang out with the nerds? Give her a Gryffindor sticker!”

Me: “Okay, here you go!”

Customer: “Finally! I’m going to talk to the manager about you.”

(As they walk away the customer loudly teases his daughter for wanting to live with the smart kids. He did complain to my manager, but we just had a good laugh about it afterward.)