As Loud As A Baby

(I have recently discovered that I am unexpectedly pregnant. My clothes are quickly starting to be too small, and I need a few extra pieces. We haven’t made a public announcement to family or coworkers, including our four-year-old daughter. I go to a big box store that has had a small maternity section where I previously shopped when I was pregnant with my daughter.)

Me: *looking around the women’s clothing department for the rack with maternity clothes and not finding anything* “Excuse me, ma’am?” *to a clerk walking through the department* “Where is the maternity section?”

Clerk #1: “Hmm… I don’t work in this department, but let’s see what we can find.”

(She is very nice and cheerful. We look around a little, and even go over to the baby department to see if the clothes are over there. I mention in a low voice that we haven’t announced my pregnancy yet, not even to our daughter. My husband and daughter follow us around. The clerk offers to check with someone from the women’s department. I agree.)

Clerk #1: *very quietly to Clerk #2* “Do you know where the maternity clothes have been put?”

Clerk #2: *on a stepladder stocking shelves* “No, I have no idea.” *in a very LOUD voice* “Hey, [Clerk #3] do we still have maternity clothes!?”

(Mortified, I turned and walked away from the loud clerk. My husband whisked our daughter even further away. Turned out major national retailer no longer carries maternity clothing. Clerk #1 followed me, apologizing for Clerk #2’s big mouth.)