As Long As You Don’t Drag Earth And Wind Into This

(My fiancée and I are having dinner and discussing the fact that I don’t like getting my engagement ring wet.)

Me: “I just don’t like putting it in water. I take it off to wash my hands and shower and stuff.”

Fiancée: “Oh, I see how it is. You’re just cheating on me with the water. You love it that much do you?” *fakes offence*

Me: “Oh, baby, yeah. I just can’t resist how wet it gets me.” *looks him directly in the eye as I take a deliberate sip of water from my glass*

Fiancée: *gasps* “Now you’re doing it right in front of me!”

Me: “Oh, like you are one to talk. You cheat on me with fire all the time!”

Fiancée: “No, I don’t. I just like looking. She’s so hot.”

Me: “Mm-hmm, is that why I catch you touching her all the time?”

Fiancée: “I’m just stoking her a little bit. It means nothing, I swear!”

(There’s a long pause where we stare at each other before bursting out laughing.)

Me: “The people in this restaurant must think we are nuts!”