As Dumb As You Look

(I work the door sometimes at a local bar, and it normally goes as follows:)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Girl #1: “Yeah, sure. Here it is.”

Me: “Thanks, hmm… This doesn’t look like you.”

Girl #1: “Well, you can ask me anything on it. I know all of it.”

(I ask her friend that is trying to come in with her.)

Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”

Girl #2: “Umm…”

Me: “Thought so.” *handing back her ID* “You have a nice night, and maybe pay for your fake next time.”