As Bad As Retail Is…  

(I’m still a rather new cashier and trying to balance an efficient checkout with the required social niceties and store greeting cause me to run on autopilot while checking out customers. Sometimes I do not fully process what customers are telling me when it’s just small-talk and I’m also naturally a little oblivious sometimes, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing. This is speedy checkout, but the customer and I have still managed to fit in a conversation. As I am already one of the fastest cashiers, I get lots of comments on this from customers.)

Me: “[Company required greeting].”

Customer: “D***, working hard for that money, huh?”

Me: “I try! It’s too bad money doesn’t just appear in my account.”

Customer: “Well, I’d be willing to give you some money for… doing some things for me.”

Me: “Ha, well, if they were easy jobs, that might not be a bad deal.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t think they’d be too bad, if I do say so myself.”

Me: “So, that’s [total]. Thanks for shopping with us and you have a good day!”

Customer: *pays and as he’s walking away* “Anyway, you just think about my offer!”

Me: *internally, finally processing and still smiling but shuddering* “Why the f*** did he just solicit me for sex like that was acceptable small-talk?!”